In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.

Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.

If death is your lover, you don't got to be afraid ever that he will ever leave you

A simple child. That lightly draws its breath. And feels its life in every limb. What should it know of death?

Be the master of your life.

He is a true casualty of battle. There's not a physical scar, but look at the man's heart, and his head, and there are scars galore.

You have to block everything out and be extremely focused and be relaxed and mellow too.

One key to success is knowing the difference between knowledge and wisdom. One is information from the past while the other is the key to the future.

The impression I have of Justice Warren is that he was looking for the just result in a case regardless of fixed dogma or principles and I like to think that I'm in that mold.

I assert with confidence that the law of success, here and hereafter, is to have a humble and a prayerful heart, and to work, work, work.

The Christian's chief occupational hazards are depression and discouragement.

It is easier to exemplify values than teach them.