In April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

We rarely find answers in the distractions. But oh what possibilities live within the quiet of solitude.In my fear to be alone, I distracted myself away from the deep beauty of my own solitude.

Let God direct your steps. The main reason why many steps fail is that people know God is an expert in directing steps, but they don’t want to give him the contract.

The gods are cruel not because they make us work. They are cruel because they allow us to hope.

What evidence could possibly be put forward to show that one could have acted differently in the past?

Every time I do a movie like 'Finding Neverland' or 'Chocolat' or 'Shakespeare' in Love, ' we deal with the creative process, but there's humor and fun along the way. I always love that kind of movie.

Don't be too hard on me. Everyone has to sacrifice at the altar of stupidity from time to time.

Something dies in us every time we change. To make space for the true, familiar well-worn habits must give way.

I understand it all. I can write my own ticket for one or two movies. But if they're not the right ones, my ticket gets yanked. I understand that's how it works, and I'm okay with it.

What, what am I to do with all of this life?

There is a place that God has specifically designed for you where all your needs will be supplied, where you'll be happy and fulfilled, and where you'll be using your gifts and talents to the full.