In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Sacrifice of the self is sheer stupidity if sacrifice is not for the self.

Surely this is what death would be like: nothingness, oblivion, as the world continued to turn, heedless of her absence.

Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time.

Whatever comes from God is impossible for a man to turn back.

I'm sure we, the American people, are the butt of jokes by those in power.

Custom creates the whole of equity, for the simple reason that it is accepted.

Except for naval and air exercises, our military should be stationed on American soil, where service men and women can lead normal lives in close proximity to family and friends.

Planning for the future without a sense of history is like planting cut flowers.

Raising or caring for children requires sacrifice and service, which, I believe, heals us from the destructive forces of self-centeredness.

The inquiry into the proper aims and limits of State agency must be of the highest importance nay, that it is perhaps more vitally momentous than any other political question.