In Genua, someone set out to make dreams come true. Remember some of your dreams?

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

I have placed my faith in humanity, but faith in the universal becomes meaningless without faith in the individual. – Panchali Draupadi

Don’t judge based on what you see, judge based on what you know, because the two are rarely similar.

My favourite things are jokes, friendliness and feeling comfortable.

What if I pulled through and the pious faction contentedly claimed that their prayers had been answered? That would somehow be irritating.

I was not; I have been; I am not; I do not mind.

Compassionate conservative soft bigotry of low expectations.

You can't just put any four people together and it goes 'yaaaaah', y'know?

That's something lacking in a lot of modern-day families - just talking. It's almost a lost art form.

I feel like I owe my audience something. They feed my kids. And I really like my job, a lot.

The problem is not cop killers...it's killer cops.