In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.

A good idea isn't good until you consider the idea as a good

An ounce of cheerfulness is worth a pound of sadness to serve God with.

No matter how old you are, no matter how much you weigh, you can still control the health of your body.

And I think that's important, to know how the water's gone over the dam before you start to describe it. It helps to have been over the dam yourself.

If writing novels is like planting a forest, then writing short stories is more like planting a garden.

I am for peace, retrenchment and reform, the watchword of the great Liberal Party thirty years ago.

Our currency is what we are able to make.

Effort is the siamese twin of success

Nobody likes not having freedom.