In Indiana, I wasn't anything special. But in New York, I've gone out with girls with purple hair who go out with me because I'm exotic!

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

A man is only as common as his dreams.

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Seeming's enough for slaves of space and time - ours is the now and here of freedom. Come.

Even were sleep is concerned, too much is a bad thing.

Honestly, I am so ignorant of how dance works that I cant even imagine a story that you would want to tell through movement.

Writing mirrors the interior self. You know, any book is like the perfect blueprint of the psyche of the author.

I keep mementos from everything I've done.

It's great to be here. It's great to be anywhere.

No one is perfect in this world. Forgive people for not knowing better and learn to move on.

The only way Marc Bircham will be going to Tottenham is if he buys a f****** season ticket.