In South Carolina, Senator John Edwards won handily, fulfilling his promise to win every state he was born in.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Grow or Die - Don’t let your fear of uncertainty keep you from achieving your dreams, it is far riskier to stagnate.

I'm not overweight I'm just nine inches too short.

It's so sad, you get less starstruck when you start realizing that it's not a big deal.

Once a pumpkin, Always a pumpkin.

Whether it's books or TV, or whatever the case may be, the backbone of what I do is my restaurants.

I find that no matter how long a meeting goes on, the best ideas always come during the final five minutes, when people drop their guard and I ask them what they really think.

Cato used to assert that wise men profited more by fools than fools by wise men; for that wise men avoided the faults of fools, but that fools would not imitate the good examples of wise men.

Travelling is almost like talking with those of other centuries.

The problem with this world is that there isn't enough liberty and freedom.

I'm a character actor, but I look like a leading man.