In Western Australia they don't even know how to make that vital piece of sailboating equipment, the gin and tonic.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

I have very little faith that I'll ever find someone. I've had some bad luck and I've made some bad choices - not in men, but in how I've chosen to deal with relationships.

Love moves without an agenda. It just moves because that is its nature to move.

I don't think any of us can speak frankly about pain until we are no longer enduring it.

My English teacher, he's like, he's like Mr. Bu-fu.

In truth, 2007 was the hardest year of my life. I lost my best friend. I lost my father.

What I am seeking... is a motionless movement, something equivalent to what is called the eloquence of silence.

You can be sexy, but you can't be 50

Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst, and unsurprised by anything in between.

Last thing you want to do with a good movie is hold the audience hostage. As an entertainer myself, I just know it's better when you leave 'em wanting more than to stick around too long.

The isolation, the separateness, is always a part of any utopia.