In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

The challenge for us is to find some response that actually inspires change rather than clinging to the old ways that cause resentment, and more importantly, distract from the real problem.

Vladimir Putin is only going to respond to action, strength, and resolve. He's not going to respond to words.

ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .

Let this be a lesson to us all, said the preacher. You will be walking someday in the dark and the truth will come shining through, and behind you will be a life that you never want to see again.

Not an insult sweetie. That was a thirteen word kiss.

You have to give to the world the thing that you want the most, in order to fix the broken parts inside you.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

You know you can't hope yourself a better life - you must take yourself there.

There is no greater impotence in all the world like knowing you are right and that the wave of the world is wrong, yet the wave crashes upon you.

Battles, in these ages, are transacted by mechanism; with the slightest possible development of human individuality or spontaneity; men now even die, and kill one another, in an artificial manner.