In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

One day you will kiss a man you can't breathe without, and find that breath is of little consequence.

Grief came in waves, sometimes big, sometimes small, but even on the calmest days, the grief remained. The tide still came ashore.

Free your mind and free yourself from brand slavery.

Why has it seemed that the only way to protect the environment is with heavy-handed government regulation?

The taxpayer is the new permanent underclass.

I got called back into the Navy during the Korean War.

If I waited for a proper occasion to get dressed up I'd never wear half of these clothes. Put on the clothes and you make things happen to match them. It doesn't work the other way around.

No, no," said Taran slowly, "It would be folly to think of attacking them." He smiled quickly at Fflewddur. "The bards would sing of us," he admitted, "but we'd be in no position to appreciate it.

I worked for a brief spell as a journalist, but soon I discovered that I didn't want to be a journalist - I wanted to be a historian.

It is a little known fact that much like birds, who can always find north, knitters can always find yarn.