In a new interview, Herman Cain said that if Rick Perry were an ice cream flavor, he'd be 'Rocky Road.' I don't know, Perry's not really any flavor of ice cream. He's just the brain freeze part.

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'

Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

The man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and Cheetos in a variety pack.

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.

I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.

I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

In this age, you must be relentlessly remarkable to stay relevant, if not you will be relegated.

You Can Not Be Honest With Others, If You Are Not First Honest With Yourself.

Faith gives us the courage to endure every circumstance.

No morality can be founded on authority, even if the authority were divine.

Judgments of adequacy involve social comparison processes

I hope I just continue to be passionate about the roles and to always endeavor to bring clarity and honesty to the table and different ideas.

The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom.

I have never quite grasped the worry about the power of the press. After all, it speaks with a thousand voices, in constant dissonance.

Angling may be saidtobe so likemathematics, that itcan never be fully learnt.

It's always good to marry your best friend.