In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

The sky is the limit... for some people aim higher nothing is impossible.

I'm an art major. You're a political science major. YOU go lay down the law.

Writing is a little bit like prostitution. First you do it for love. Then you do it for a few friends. Then you do it for money.

Confidence came from people. I think I'm very confident in me, as a human being.

I embrace everybody for who and what they are.

I’m going to be mentally ill in fifteen years, and that’s why my husband doesn’t want to be around me.

I guess sometimes you just have to fight your battles.

I never felt I was incapable of succeeding because I felt confident I could always learn what I needed to know.

If you ask me what I think people should be getting next season, I’ll tell you what I’d like them to buy—nothing. I’d like people to stop buying and buying and buying.

When we depress, we believe we are the victims of a feeling over which we have no control.