In addition to my other numerous acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant… My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known — no wonder, then, that I return the love.

What is existence for but to be laughed at if men in their twenties have already attained the utmost?

Whenever you have a problem, take a few minutes to meditate. You’ll be amazed at the renewed clarity that you’ll bring to the issue.

We're in a giant car heading towards a brick wall and everyone's arguing over where they're going to sit.

i remember we all cried like the Missouri when my Uncle Sol's coffin lurched because somebody pressed a button (and down went my uncle Sol and started a worm farm)

Gratitude is the law of increase, and complaint is the law of decrease.

If you seek to change your life and attain enlightenment, you must deal with these questions. If there is no truth in this, then ignore these silly words.

I have a tendency to really stuff things — like, I don't really express certain feelings.

There is a ceiling to it and there's a stigma. Billy Crystal as brilliant as he is, he's never going to be thought of as a contemporary like Alan Arkin.

I wonder whether she was sorry for leaving us behind.

I have a dream... I have a dream today... And if America is to be a great nation this must become true.

I really love things with melody.