In an instant he became aware that the tourist was about to try his own peculiar brand of linguistics, which meant that he would speak loudly and slowly in his own language.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Lies are neither bad nor good. Like a fire they can either keep you warm or burn you to death, depending on how they're used.

Do you see a theme emerging? Women like flowers

Time is the Illusion that conditions matter.

We would like to live as we once lived, but history will not permit it.

Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time?" "Of course we did. They attacked us in Iceland. Remember?" "No. I was unconscious.

A friend tells you what you want to hear;a best friend tells you the truth.

Remember, the enemy's gate is down.

What ignorance there is in human minds.

I was raised to believe that God has a plan for everyone and that seemingly random twists of fate are all a part of His plan.

The human society is the extension of the individual. Therefore, if we really want a radical change, if we want a better world, we need to change individually.