In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods they have not forgotten this.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

I prefer to rule and work in Nigeria in a free and independent way. I was born free, and I want to die free in the name of my country.

The bride's about to throw her bouquet, " Mom told me the day after she turned 96. "Come on, June, get me up there!" (She stole the bouquet and kept it.)

Even if the chef has a good business head, his focus should be behind kitchen doors. A business partner should take care of everything in front of the kitchen doors.

There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not.

Drama can feel like therapy whereas comedy feels like there's been a pressure and a weight lifted off of you.

The ministry and mission of the church is at the center of Christian giving.

It's a pretty big shadow. It gives me lots of room to spread myself.

When people criticize Zionists, they mean Jews. You are talking anti-Semitism.

God gives everybody gifts, but he doesn't give anybody all the gifts.

When I die, there will be people who send flowers to Ethel Mertz.