In any relationship, the woman has control, the clever ones don't let the men know.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

It's hard to tell who has your back, from who has it long enough just to stab you in it....

Art attests to what is inhuman in man.

Bridget cried for the leavers and the left. For the people, like herself, grimly forsaking what precious gifts they would ever get.

I prefer to remain anomalous.

My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately

We can all control our own destiny. And I think sometimes it's a copout to say, "Well, it's this person's fault or another person's fault."

If people don't want to believe in Robbie Fowler, it's because they don't want to

Surfing's one of the few sports that you look ahead to see what's behind.

The greatest trick that the devil ever pulled Was convincing women that they looked Better in their makeup

How dismal is progress without publicity.