In business news, chocolate maker nestle is buying Jenny Craig. Well, that says it all you need to know about the war on obesity, doesn't it? It's over! Apparently we surrendered!

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

The general public of the wireless western nations are very tolerant to the radiation poisoning of the next generation of children by their corporate controlled governments.

Quietly...softly, God taps on our tense shoulders with His love.

The readers who commited suicide after reading 'Werther' were not ideal but merely sentimental readers.

For as long as we can trace back human life, there's always been some sort of music - ceremonies, rituals. It's part of the human makeup.

Man is not permitted without censure to follow his own thoughts in the search of truth, when they lead him ever so little out of the common road.

While sleeping in a hammock, with the touch of a warm wind we remember why we are in love with the life!

When I look back now I wouldn't say that I cringe, but I start to realize how naive I was then. I feel much better suited for the job now. (on being Manchester City manager)

We know that it's hard enough being a teenager. It's particularly hard being a teenager who's coming out.

If young children boo me, that makes my day.

Sound trumpets! Let our bloody colours wave! And either victory, or else a grave.