In comedy, my strengths are improvisation.

Life is too short to worry about what others say about you. Have fun and give them something to talk about.

If you give up at the first sign of struggle, you're really not ready to be successful.

My goals are so high that I don't have time to relax, in any way shape or form.

The only time you should look back in life, is to see how far you have come.

Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard things could get messy real fast.

The day Rick Ross dives into the crowd, is the day we find out who his true fans are.

The best feeling in the world is seeing the benefits and rewards of hard work.

I think if someone gets kicked in the face it is their fault- they watched the foot come towards their face.

People who eat with their mouth open should be punched in the face.

Laughter heals all wounds, and that's one thing that everybody shares. No matter what you're going through, it makes you forget about your problems. I think the world should keep laughing.

So it turns out that late-night flashes of brilliance often look a little less brilliant in the bright light of morning.

A little philosophy inclineth man's mind to atheism but depth in philosophy bringeth men's minds about to religion.

Whether in conversation we generally agree or disagree with others is largely a matter of habit: the one tendency makes as much sense as the other.

Ruins provide the incentive for restoration, and for a return to origins. There has to be an interim of death or rejection before there can be renewal and reform.

When there's nothing left, there's always music, that's all I've ever known.

You are asked to keep a ledger - a small notebook will do - of money in and money out. Counting brings clarity, and clarity is one of the first and finest fruits of prosperity.

Las Vegas without Wayne Newton is like Disneyland without Mickey Mouse.

Life is never as long as we want it to be, and wasted time can never be recovered.

Poor Martin. Geek or no, committing his soul to eternal damnation was a helluva price to pay for six minutes.

Communicating a passionate response to world events is no longer limited to protests and rallies.