In every woman's life there is one real and consuming love. But very few women guess which one it is.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

I have learned that what I have not drawn I have never really seen, and that when I start drawing an ordinary thing, I realize how extraordinary it is, sheer miracle.

People who personify excellence are people who invoke the same in others.

There's nothing so obscene and depressing as an American Christmas.

The spirit from which we act is the principal matter.

I sighed. I hated the maze of bureaucracy with a passion, but I've found the best way to deal with it is to smile and act stupid. That way, no one gets confused.

Every instant of time... is a pinprick of eternity.

Nature protects us in our uttermost losses by a density through which conviction is slow to penetrate.

Contrary to what the politicians and religious leaders would like us to believe, the world won't be made safer by creating barriers between people.

Suffering so unbolts the door of the heart, that the Word hath easier entrance.

What comes out of your mouth is determined by what goes into your mind.