In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of thecat, although in this case there were three determinate states the catcould be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.

Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail.

Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.

It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.

She wore so much thick white makeup in order to conceal her naturally rosy complexion that if she turned around suddenly her face would probably end up on the back of her head.

Bursar?""Yes, Archchancellor?""You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?""Me? No, Archchancellor.""Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head.

I never said nothing...""I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!

But all them things exist, " said Nanny Ogg. "That's no call to go around believing in them. It only encourages 'em.

What is magic?There is the wizard's explanation... wizards talk about candles, circles, planets, stars, bananas, chants, runes and the importance of having at least four good meals every day.

Don't walk behind me

I grew to manhood in the Ohio State Penitentiary.

If someone wants to make a joke about me smoking too much pot, I'm not going to get mad at them, because I've put it out there that that's what I do.

Writing the book automatically made me accept myself and love myself more.

The most important thing that each of us can do is to try even harder to see the world through our neighbor's eyes.

I just...feel like I need to save everyone. To redeem myself.

The best teams play for each other, not with each other

I remember everyone who leaves.

If you want to win forever, you've got to ALWAYS COMPETE.

Who are you calling?" (claire) Pizza hut" (shane) Loser" (claire)