In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Science is a careful investigation.

It's a shame that we have to choose between two such second-rate countries as the USSR and the USA.

A lot of reality shows tend to harp on the negative. The person isn't pretty enough or can't sing well enough or maybe isn't even funny enough.

If you're not sure what you want, then hold back from making plans or responding to invitations until you have a chance to think about it.

Our comforting conviction that the world makes sense rests on a secure foundation: our almost unlimited ability to ignore our ignorance.

The mother's love is at first an absorbing delight, blunting all other sensibilities; it is an expansion of the animal existence.

Life is not just the passing of time. Life is the collection of experiences and their intensity.

Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript, at which time we knew we had something pretty hot.

The purpose of computers is human freedom.

You cannot exercise much power without gratitude; for it is gratitude that keeps you connected with Power.