In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

Even though it's dark and cold there is always a shade of light.

The terrible price of living, ain’t it? To live through others dying?

I really believe you get what you're supposed to get.

Our concern for the future can be tested by how well we support our libraries.

Remorse is impotence; it will sin again. Only repentance is strong - it can end everything.

I intend to be, the richest man in the world.

What can i tell you about the choices we make? Fate reads like the polar opposite of decision, and so much of life reads like fate.

Friends share all things.

Also not the kind of place to hide a server." "Is that another pun?" She asked. "No! I swear! I didn't mean that one." ~Shell Game, Kingdom Keepers #5