In matters of religion and matrimony I never give any advice; because I will not have anybody's torments in this world or the next laid to my charge.

As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless.

The mere brute pleasure of reading - the sort of pleasure a cow must have in grazing.

If we do not plant knowledge when young, it will give us no shade when we are old.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

Being pretty on the inside means you don't hit your brother and you eat all your peas - that's what my grandma taught me.

Modesty is the only sure bait when you angle for praise.

Whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well.

You must look into people, as well as at them.

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners.

Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

When sorrow's cup is filled up to the brim, the slightest touch of memory can cause tears to spill again.

There's no such thing as complete when it comes to stories. Stories are infinite. They are as infinite as worlds.

Once and for all, there are many things I choose not to know.--Wisdom sets limits even to knowledge.

None of the modern machines, none of the modern paraphernalia. . . have any power except over the people who choose to use them.

My political opinions lean more and more to Anarchy (philosophically understood, meaning abolition of control not whiskered men with bombs).

It is true I wished to escape; and so I wish still: is not this lawful for all prisoners?

Bullying wasn't okay in elementary school and it isn't okay now, especially when it comes in the form of a U.S. Supreme Court decision.

I'd like to have permanent time off, really. The goal is financial security and permanent time off, basically.

Some forms of reality are so horrible we refuse to face them, unless we are trapped into it by comedy. To label any subject unsuitable for comedy is to admit defeat.

Tape is the archiving champ and has been for decades. Reliable, less expensive than disks and available in large-scale robotic systems that store petabytes.