In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

It is better being the victim then the victimizer.

I'm a fan of making things that I've seen but couldn't purchase, or things I bought that didn't fit the way I like.

There's a whole language out there, and one's role as a writer is to stumble around in it.

If a lack of empirical foundations is a defect of the theory of logical probability, it is also a defect of deductive logic.

Never again will NAACP find itself near financial ruin.

So not enough people in this world, I think, carry a cosmic perspective with them. It could be life-changing.

When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less.

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.

I am a total loser, in every aspect of my life. I rarely go out.

Every step of the way to heaven is heaven.