In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said 'cut it out'

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

İnsanlık öldü belki de hiç yaşamamıştı..!!Humanity was dead.Maybe never live too..!!

First Step To Lose Weight.....Get and Stay ACTIVE!

I see technology as being an extension of the human body.

I belive that people should fight for what they believe and only what they believe.

An angel once told me, "The inevitable consequence of love is the building of Temples."

You want me and I want you. right?" Who did she think she was? You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's Syndrome. He said, "Well, I guess. Yeah, that's right.

You should approach technological things in a nostalgic way.

And I met Paul Simms while I was making 'It's Pat', and he later wound up casting me in 'NewsRadio'.

See how that pair of billing doves With open murmurs own their loves And, heedless of censorious eyes, Pursue their unpolluted joys: No fears of future want molest The downy quiet of their nest.

There is no lapse in His character or inconsistency in His nature. Our God is everything he says He is… for now and all eternity.