In my opinion, kissing a lady's hand is a fine tradition. After all, a man must start somewhere.

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

I ain't taking no more rides on the stupid train.

Dating is like nightfall--there's got to be a mourning after.

Don't worry. It's scientifically unlikely that the universe will explode into a million particles at any given moment.

Dating--the socially accepted alternative to the rack.

Maybe money can't buy happiness, but it can get you a nice little villa in Tuscany, and that's close enough for me.

He's an undersized pissant with delusions of adequacy.

Jealousy. It's a terrible thing. Unless it's someone else's.

It'd hardly be worth having a brother at all, if you couldn't smack him in the head every once in a while.

It's not who you know, it's who you sleep with.

Common sense comes not just from knowledge, but also from wisdom.

You can find a better you inside of you. Why don’t you search for that?

Dreams won't always take you on a straight path to destiny, but they're usually related to what your soul wants for you.

It’s important that you keep asking God to show you what He wants you to do. If you don’t ask, you won’t know.

There are only two moments when everything is possible in this life, " said Petrus, "when one drinks, and when one makes up stories.

Love is when you let someone be the way they are.

90% of the functionality delivered now is better than 100% delivered never.

People ask me how I manage without a man in the same tone they might ask someone how they're doing with just one lung, but it's not like that at all.

If you gave wings to a cat, it would not condescend to be a bird. It would be an angel.

Those who set out to serve both God and Mammon soon discover that there isn't a God.