In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

There's a period of life when we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside.

Life, as the signs in the liquor stores say, is too short to drink bad wine. And summer is too short to read bad books.

With my busy schedule, my friends consist of my immediate family and the people I work with!

Our country is where ever we are well off.

I find it valid to understand man as an animal before I am prepared to know him as a man.

If we suffer in the sufferings of others and feel happy in the happiness of others, we are loving God.

When the sun sets, candle starts seeing itself like the sun!

The fashions of human affairs are brief and changeable, and fortune never remains long indulgent. [Lat., Breves et mutabiles vices rerum sunt, et fortuna nunquam simpliciter indulget.]

I wasn't ever much of a Yankee fan.

On the field is a place where you can just let it loose and react to everything with violence.