In order to have a change of fortune at the last minute, you have to take your fortune to the last minute.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Sometimes I am two people. Johnny is the nice one. Cash causes all the trouble. They fight.

Before publication, and if provided by persons whose judgment you trust, yes, of course criticism helps. But after something is published, all I want to read or hear is praise.

If we die for them, Harry, I'm going to KILL YOU!

A real foolproof way to do it is play your stuff by hook or by crook and build up a grass roots following

Tokyo is like a huge futuristic pinball machine. It's like a bubble with two lost creatures inside a pinball machine that doesn't care about them. The other thing is, it's very colorful.

I stay active and choose to associate myself with like-minded people.

The devil wanders into my soul.

Fred Davis, the doyen of snooker, now 67 years of age and too old to get his leg over, prefers to use his left hand.

I enjoy now doing what I do... playing golf, relaxing a little, enjoying life.