In order to pass the time I told him the story of the German who ate the other German whom he’d met on the internet.

The great advantage of a novel is you can put in whatever comes into your head - it has the same shape as the human brain.

Anything can happen in life, especially nothing.

The world outside had its own rules, and those rules were not human.

The Americans are completely stupid. The intellectual level in any single European country is higher than in America.

The absence of the will to live is, alas, not sufficient to make one want to die.

The love of a dog is a pure thing. He gives you a trust which is total. You must not betray it.

It's a curious idea to reproduce when you don't even like life.

Tenderness is a deeper instinct than seduction, which is why it is so hard to give up hope.

The most stupid religion is Islam.

Why am I popular? I don't know. Is it a mistake? I should think it's a mistake somewhere.

Men were not supposed to be mushy, but one thing his mother taught him was that it was better to understand your feelings than hide from them

Christian allegories are a dime a dozen. You can find them in any story, if you look hard enough. Even Harry Potter.

The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake. You can't learn anything from being perfect.

Politics [is] the art of achieving the maximum amount of freedom for individuals that is consistent with the maintenance of social order.

Love is the state of enlightenment and enlightenment is the state of love. You can't make any separation between them. Enlightenment is the state of no feelings and pure knowledge and so is love.

Your silent tents of green We deck with fragrant flowers; Yours has the suffering been, The memory shall be ours.

Sometimes I want to go into Saturday Night Live and rewrite some of the sketches because they're really not that good.

Success results when preparation meets opportunity.

Heterosexuality is not a thing.

Advising Mrs. Harris was the least I could do," David said smoothly. "After all, she was the one who brought me and my late wife together.