In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

for what is religion if not a kind of madness, and what is madness without a touch of religion?

Never stop asking questions. Always take time to reflect and find answers. Stop, Think and Use Your Brain!

Happiness, to me, was no different than Mom's paprikalaced domino bars: something that looked sweet until you took a bite, and then made you want to vomit.

I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.

If you're not willing to speak out for the rights of other people, then who do you expect to speak out for you when it's your turn?

If I can succeed in saving only a single soul I can be sure that my own will be saved.

Alexander McQueen's heartbreakingly premature death, at the height of his creativity and influence, has robbed the fashion world of a soaring and unique talent.

ACORN is organizing to make sure the job of rebuilding New Orleans is done by the people of New Orleans and truly benefits the communities who have been hurt the most.

Yoga began with the first person wanting to be healthy and happy all the time.