In particular, I found praying very disturbing, like swimming with bricks tied to your feet. And yet I was drawn to it constantly.

I really like rustic mediterranean cooking. And I like trying out curry takeaways.

One of my friends went on a murder weekend, now he is doing life for it.

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.

People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists.

I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers.

I really hated fighting people and hurting them, but felt unable to stop.

They call it 'surfing' the net. It's not surfing. It's typing in your bedroom

Comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. A talent in one area might also lead to a predisposition in the other.

Whenever you're in any acting role you are mortgaging your own character.

The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.

Time becomes meaningless without memory and we humans have a unique consciousness that allows us to live in the past or the future, which is actually more of a curse than a useful superpower.

When their eyes connected she tilted her head slightly…paused, and smiled. It was as if she needed to see him at a different angle to insure that her instant desire wasn’t a vanishing mirage

Billy squinted at me. "Why are you letting them go?""Because they're real.""How do you know?""The one I was holding crapped on my hand.

You must never delude yourself into thinking that you're investing when you're speculating.

I have given up considering happiness as relevant.

It's interesting to observe that almost all truly worthy men have simple manners, and that simple manners are almost always taken as a sign of little worth

I will live and die by this testimony: that I loved a good conscience; that I never invaded another man's liberty; and that I preserved my own.

When ATM machines came out and people were prosecuted for robbing ATM machines, I don't think anybody thought the banks were against technology because they didn't want their ATM machines lifted.

You got nothing to lose. You don't lose when you lose fake friends.

Worry is useless mulling over of things we cannot change. Worry is not concern, which would motivate you to do everything possible in a situation.