In romance, as in life, you only learn when you're losing.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

To work hard, to live hard, to die hard, and then go to hell after all would be too damn hard.

If you do not know you can always ask, but if you do not know never answer wrong.

A good, stinky French cheese or a good Stilton. These are things I really, really love. Dessert I can obviously live without.

The easiest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want.

Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself.

Ah well... wand still in your jeans? Both buttocks still on? Okay, let’s go.

Writing just for the hell of it is heaven.

I feel worn down as a human being who has to constantly justify their existence to other human beings because I'm a minority

No one can really pull you up very high - you lose your grip on the rope. But on your own two feet you can climb mountains.

Power is seldom innocent, and envy is the yokefellow of eminence.