In society it is etiquette for ladies to have the best chairs and get handed things. In the home the reverse is the case. This is why ladies are more sociable than gentlemen.

Say something idiotic and nobody but a dog politely wags his tail.

Good shot, bad luck and hell are the five basic words to be used in a game of tennis, though these, of course, can be slightly amplified.

The women sit, getting colder and colder, on a seat getting harder and harder, watching oafs, getting muddier and muddier.

Be blind. Be stupid. Be British. Be careful.

For a driver to be driven by somebody else is an ordeal, for there are only three types of drivers: the too fast, the timid and oneself.

When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference.

when we travel, most of us take too much. I always work on the assumption that I'm going to take everything with me because I don't want the second wife to have anything if the plane crashes.

a woman is not really dressed unless she is wearing a hat.

I have the perfect face for radio.

There are some composers - at the head of whom stands Beethoven - who not only do not know when to stop but appear to stop many times before they actually do.

In the first years of our lives we learn how to shit, talk, walk, sleep, eat and, most importantly, how to royally piss off our parents.

I think I knew from the first moment I met her, she would be the one to replace me. I didn't think it would happen that fast, but it did.

Life is swimming to shore with cowboy boots on.

No serious historian of nations and nationalism can be a committed political nationalist... Nationalism requires too much belief in what is patently not so.

The average citizen expresses pride in the American Bill of Rights and then seeks to protect his real estate by restrictive covenants.

Sometimes I don't understand why I'm sitting here.

I prefer the smaller budget versus the bigger budget because the mentality that goes along with big budget filmmaking doesn't really suit me; the mind-set that money is the answer.

Here, no mercy is shown. One hates one's fellow man to the glory of God.

The fact is, there is only one body ideal in fashion, and most likely, you don't have it.

I have a fear of doing stuff thats not very good and being remembered for that.