In the '80s especially, a lot of comedians felt compelled to stick with what made them famous and those people became caricatures.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

A straight dark-green Manchu gown, with black trimmings, is my favorite. For it just about takes off those fifteen pounds I don't need and adds those three inches I do.

Here is their plan. Whistle a happy tune while driving us off a fiscal cliff as long as they are behind the wheel of power when we fall.

If you come from Spain, you have to play football.

And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.

The NCAA is probably the most reprehensible organization God ever created.

Sometimes I go into my own little world. It's okay, they know me there.

My wife is Jewish, and therefore, it's my children's birthright to be Jewish.

While language can surely be used for communication (as can much else), communication probably has no special role in its design or evolution.

There is much worth noticing that often escapes the eye.

Of all the forces that are exerted on us over our lifetime, at least for me, love has been the most powerful of all.