In the Navy, there is no wrong hole. In the Marines, there is always a hole.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

It ain't kin we? It's will we?

I'd know if I wasn't fully human, wouldn't I? Wouldn't there be some sort of sign, pointed ears or wings or something like that?--Meghan Chase

No man doth think others will be better to him than he is to them.

History has repeatedly been changed by people who had the desire and the ability to transfer their convictions and emotions to their listeners.

I believe only in what I do not see.

It does mean, if this is the idea, the end of Britain as an independent European state...it means the end of a thousand years of history.

One lot apiece, one chance to undo an error or secure a fate.

I have a beautiful little Smith & Wesson, 9 millimeter, and it goes with me virtually everywhere.

I lead a simple life. I get residuals. I have a family; we're doing alright.

Jazz changes and all. But I don't know the names of what it is I'm doing.