In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.

If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail.

Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.

It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.

She wore so much thick white makeup in order to conceal her naturally rosy complexion that if she turned around suddenly her face would probably end up on the back of her head.

Bursar?""Yes, Archchancellor?""You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?""Me? No, Archchancellor.""Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head.

In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of thecat, although in this case there were three determinate states the catcould be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.

I never said nothing...""I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!

But all them things exist, " said Nanny Ogg. "That's no call to go around believing in them. It only encourages 'em.

What is magic?There is the wizard's explanation... wizards talk about candles, circles, planets, stars, bananas, chants, runes and the importance of having at least four good meals every day.

Those who look for the bad in people will surely find it.

The Revolution will be complete when the language is perfect.

Whoever does not regard what he has as most ample wealth is unhappy though he is master of the world.

If you like a person you say 'let's go into business together.' Man is a social animal after all, but such partnerships are fraught with danger.

Foreign influence is truly the Grecian horse to a republic. We cannot be too careful to exclude its influence.

Be what you are. No one who really loves you will stop

We are not born, we do not live for ourselves alone; our country, our friends, have a share in us.

What’s the difference between a trip and a journey?" "Narnie, my love, when we get there, you’ll understand.

It seems that 'national security' is the root password to the Constitution. As with any dishonest superuser, the best countermeasure is strong encryption.