In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

I only want to write. And there's no college for that except life.

The library in 2020 will be ruled by geeks. In my happy vision for the future, libraries are ruled by benign geek librarian overlords and the world is full of awesome.

A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

All of us would be better investors if we just made fewer decisions.

I want to find those stories that we may talk about at the barbecue or when we're playing bid whist or with our cousins watching TV, but you don't see it on television. Certainly it's perspective.

No man must be superior to the things that are common to men.... Not only are we all in the same boat, but we are all seasick.

I've told you, nobody becomes an artist unless they have to.

Freedom is not a reaction; freedom is not a choice. . Freedom is found in the choiceless awareness of our daily existence and activity.

He wondered if she wondered if he were watching her.