In the country of the blind, the one-eyed king can still goof up.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

Poetry is an act of love.

God is not sitting in heaven thinking about how to make you comfortable. Your comfort might actually be his least concern.

I'd cut up my heart for you to wear if you wanted it.

There is sorrow in finitude. The Self is beyond time, space and objects. It is infinite and hence of the nature of absolute happiness.

Surround yourself with people who add the fuel of advice and encouragement to your fire.

Books cannot always please, however good; Minds are not ever craving for their food.

Life deserves laughter, hence people laugh at it.

Without this great land of ours, we would all drown.

This economy is not getting better and the president's policies are the reason.

Nobody had ever told me that anything could be like this.