In the fourth grade, I learned how to fake walking into a door. You know, you hit it with your hand and snap your head back. The girls loved it.

We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

It's true not because it's beyond doubt, but because we believe it to be true. We make it true. We are safe as long as no one can disprove us

So what is a good meditator? The one who meditates.

Sports create a bond between comtemporaries that lasts a lifetime. It also gives your life structure, discipline and a genuine, sincere, pure fulfillment that few other areas of endeavor provide.

You've got to think about how to do things for the right price. You have to shoot in different places to be creative and get tax rebates.

The third time you say a thing it sounds like a lie.

It isn't what we say or think that defines us, but what we do.

Find the most delicate qualities within; then treat these qualities as tiny little seeds that you would plant in your heart, with you being the gardener.

It's so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day.

Pleasure itself is painful at the bottom.

Nothing is costed properly and it's destroying the earth. We need to re-educate people that what is good for the planet is good for the financial system.