In the late twentieth century, staying sober has become just as much an addiction as getting wasted.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Play is a uniquely adaptive act, not subordinate to some other adaptive act, but with a special function of its own in human experience.

Courage is the goal of cowards.

... the smaller the domain where choices among alternatives are made collectively, the smaller will be the probability that any individual's preference gets overruled.

Let me tell you right now, you are not alone. Seeking help requires incredible strength and courage. The most powerful weapon you have against bullying is your voice.

I knew what I took upon myself and I was prepared to lose my life by so doing.

I do not understand! I understand nothing! I cannot understand nor do I want to understand! I want to believe! To Believe!

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.

Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away.

God was dead. Let Him rest in peace. Now, finally, the earth was hers with no taint of Heaven.

We live in a beauty-obsessed culture, which on one hand is absolutely fabulous, but on the flip side, is also dangerously extreme.