In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?

Two types of people laugh at the law: those that break it and those that make it.

We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.

Truth! Freedom! Justice! And a hard-boiled egg!

No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled. "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?""What?""Oh, you'd like something simpler?

I get it, ' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?

People are content to wait a long time for salvation, but expect dinner to turn up within the hour.

Mums are mums, lance-constable. They don't like to see men managing by themselves, in case that sort of thing catches on.

Let us learn to see the beauty of life. Let us learn to appreciate and forgive. This is when we will find peace everywhere.

Thoughts might not be solid and always obtainable, but they become your reality when emotions are attached to them. Over time, they become your wants and form an attachment to your behavior.

There is no amount of bad karma that can compete with a contrite spirit and God's forgiveness.

...the Palestinian Arabs' obsession with the Jews and rejection of all political compromise was inspired by Islamic teachings as well as by European fascism.

There are certain books in the world which every searcher for truth must know: the Bible, the Critique of Pure Reason, the Origin of Species, and Karl Marx's Capital.

People who are coaches will be the norm. Other people won't get promoted.

You don't just walk out because you think someone has insulted you and your pride has been hurt.

My worst image of myself is me sitting on a bed, smoking a cigarette, waiting for a phone call and thinking thoughts that don't join together.

You know all of my fears. There's nothing your eyes can't see. When I tried to give up Lord, you never gave up on me.

Every place you land in life has a reason and a lesson.