In this time of recession, it is the time for invention. Did you know both the telephone and the automobile were invented during recessions? So was 'talking dirty.'

I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.

If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.

A lot of people think that kids say the darnedest things. But so would you if you had no education. You'd just be like, I am bike cheese. Because you wouldn't know what words were.

What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.

What I think you should do is imagine people in their underwear but then also imagine them crying, and that - that is truly relaxing.

Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.

Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?

If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.

In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.

It is very important how efficiently and wisely we manage and plan to use the blessings that God has already given to us

Where thou art that is Home.

With every literary genre or form come some conventional expectations that the biblical authors either follow or deviate from.

Many people have played themselves to death. Many people have eaten and drunk themselves to death. Nobody ever thought himself to death.

It is a condition which confronts us-not a theory.

The river , corrected the Rat, It's my world...What it hasn't got is not worth having.

So usually you have to have product distribution as more fundamental than what the actual product is.

This is one of the cruelties of the theatre of life; we all think of ourselves as stars and rarely recognize it when we are indeed mere supporting characters or even supernumeraries.

I'm an Episcopal, which is Catholic Lite. It's like same religion, half the guilt.

I don't drive an Escalade; I've never lived on a mansion; I live in a townhouse. Even with my internet business, when I was making just shy of a million and a half a year, I lived in the same house.