In this town, a successful marriage is one that lasts longer than ice.

I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister.

A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system.

You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing.

Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head.

There aren't many things a man finds more appealing than loyalty. Unless it's a woman with really big knockers.

I'd trade every last one of you for a moment's peace and a dog that didn't P on the carpet

If they really wanted us to resist temptation, they shouldn't a made it so damn tempting.

It's not as if I don't like men, I just have more respect for my washing machine.

In my experience, "what the hell" is generally the most interesting decision.

There is not a simple gene pool entirely free of toxic waste.

So there we were

have a mind so quiet, that you can hear doves whispering as they rest their wings in the rafters your silent sanctuary

History has taught us that people who live to serve humanity selflessly are the ones who live forever. Those who divorce themselves from service to humanity are forgotten even before their death.

If I do have some success I'd like to enjoy it for heaven's sake! What is the point of having it otherwise?

Truth is always served by great minds, even if they fight it.

The actual cheerleaders in our film are all Broadway dancers.

Music is the tonal reflection of beauty.

Disarmament without checks is but a shadow - and a community without law is but a shell.

How long will you keep me?" I asked. You shrugged. "Forever, of course.

People do not respect music anymore... They go by what's hot... If you're hot, you deserve 4 or 5 Grammys... Madonna is a genius and she only has 2 or 3 Grammys... What is that about?