In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Just as every challenge helps us in evolving

A song is a short composition for voice and instruments. It is a piece of sung poetry set to music. It is usually only a few minutes long.

I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

Let us not paralyze our capacity for good by brooding of man's capacity for evil.

There is a season for everything, patience will reward you and reveal all answers to your questions.' 'Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't going away.

No artist will tolerate the world for one second as it is.

She had been born for this man, and she had spent so many years trying to accept the fact that he had been born for someone else.

In my whole life, I've never vomited from seeing something disgusting. Does it really even happen, outside of movies and TV? I believe it may be a myth.

Being impeccable with your word is not using the word against yourself.

Without the local library in my neighborhood, I don’t think I would have grown up to be a writer or a teacher.