In this world, you get what you pay for.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

The authorities of this so-called education take pride in their ship shape structure where they manufacture dumb manikins.

It's important to remember that because these athletes exercise so beyond what even a normal active person would, they generally must also supplement their diet.

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

Even when I'm tired, when I come home and think about catching up on my sleep, I'd rather stay up and hold my daughters.

If the most you can do right now is walk around the block, then do that, and you will be surprised how quickly you increase your endurance and enthusiasm for moving and breathing.

That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.

Muddled thinking inevitably results in muddled living

There are alternate definitions of manhood in the West.

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on

In southern Spain, they made me eat a bull's testicles. They were really garlicky, which I don't like. I prefer to take a bull by the horns, not by, um...