In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

Colourful lips are pretty, child but they also speak colourful lies.

the sort of fish that a good fisherman puts back into the water

We are always in transition. If you can just relax with that, you'll have no problem.

I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.

Religion's crucial role in the lives of many people... is rejected out of hand by the political community, especially the press.

The films that I go to see at the cinema are not Hollywood blockbusters particularly. I've not got anything against them... I'm in them! But I don't go and spend my money on them.

I am responsible for everything... except my very responsibility.

It's very difficult to change the perception people have of you.

People in a democracy should be satisfied with drawing the Government's attention to a mistake, if any.

On a scale from 1-10, my ambition is probably 11 or 12.