Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong.

The people who are always hankering loudest for some golden yesteryear usually drive new cars.

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.

In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved.

Americans like fat books and thin women.

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems.

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.

There are no crash courses on ‘enlightenment’, you only crash in a course like that!!!!

Ask God for what you desire.

You may fancy a glimpse of the abyss where I grovelled!

Drink up my honey eyes, Kiss them shut every night, And be my 'one' all my life.

We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction.

Even in winter an isolated patch of snow has a special quality.

The fool is looking for happiness far away. The wise man makes it grow under his feet.

The trouble with democracy is that 50 percent of the voters are below average.

...and the night is so deep and dark that I wonder if the sun will ever come up.

The operas I listen to aren't in English, and I want to listen to my opera after I'm done with it. I want to have the desire to play it on the stereo. To me, the language is part of the mystery.