Indeed, none but the Deity can tell what is good luck and what is bad before the returns are all in.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Writing is both an act of power and surrender. Passion and discovery. It is a tug at your soul that continues to pull you forward, even as you go kicking and screaming.” (p.18)

People will choose unhappiness over uncertainty.

The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night.

Everyone has bad days...'my Dear MIDDLE FINGER, Thanks for sticking up for me!

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Trying to describe something musical is like dancing to architecture, it's really difficult.

I am thankful, of course, for the prize and thankful to God for each story, each idea, each word, each day.

I come from straight theater.

If this fail, The pillar'd firmament is rottenness, And earth's base built on stubble.

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.