Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Smartass Disciple: Master, you keep preaching the truth. They don't listen.Master of Stupidity: Oh that's not bad. That attitude keeps us in the business.

As the soft yield of water cleaves obstinate stone So to yield with life solves the insolvable: To yield I have learned is to come back again.

Warren Buffett has shown you can be very, very successful without being rapacious, while still being honest, without engaging in constant legal battles.

I saw him making love to you, you forgot to close the garage door.

Becoming a professional artist takes talent and perseverance, even more so when the field is photography.

The bullying was hideous and relentless, and we turned it round by making ourselves celebrities.

The judgment of posterity is truer, because it is free from envy and malevolence.

In Britain you're more used to challenging drama. In America, TV is just boring, and numbing, and bloody terrible.

It was a great idea from my teammate Jamal Crawford. He kept telling me to jump over Spud, so we decided to call him and he was more than willing to participate with me. I just thank God for him.

Twitter, Facebook and Reddit, that’s not journalism. That's gossip. Journalism was invented as an antidote to gossip.