Infiniti ads are part of an exciting new trend called "Advertising Whose Sole Purpose Is to Irritate You."

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

You Mirror maybe a Mirage, so watch-out!

Every day is a surprise. There are confirmations of an interconnectivity and synchronicity which inspire, titillate and confirm the inherent comedy of the universe.

I coulda' had class. I coulda' been a contender! But instead I got a one way ticket to Palookaville.

Julia looked back at Hadassah on the bloodstained sand. A great emptiness opened within her as she looked at the still form. Gone, too, was the salt that had kept her from completely corruption.

Some artists shrink from self-awareness, fearing that it will destroy their unique gifts and even their desire to create. The truth of the matter is quite opposite.

One fantasy is that I just do a Don Roos movie every year if that's possible. If he'd have me

The strange machinery by which a reputation precedes its source we all know is faulty. Yet how much faith we put in it!

And presently I was driving through the drizzle of the dying day, with the windshield wipers in full action but unable to cope with my tears.

Wherever men do things, other men will arise who will explain to them how things should be done.

I'm not playing a comedy. I want to be playing the truth of the moment, and then have the comedy come out.